I haven’t written in a while. The whole retirement thing is still a work in progress for me. I keep thinking of Freud’s answer to what is mental health—the ability to work and love. I would always tell patients that meant meaningful relationships and productive activity. I have the relationships with my wife, children, grandchildren, family and friends. I am missing the productive activity.
I started to attend a Men’s Group at Church. The guys in it were very nice and also very devout. Right now I am not and the group had some Opus Dei like flavorings that left me more disturbed than inspired. There was a very pious psychiatrist at the clinic who kept trying to convert me to his way of belief and prayer. I had to keep telling him that his way was not my way. One time in a staffing meeting with other psychiatrists he got down on his knees and started to pray out loud. The very Jewish chief of staff had to tell him “There will be none of that in here”. I would not be a good evangelist. I still am trying to understand myself and my relationship with a higher power. I don’t think I can share that with anyone else until I understand it myself
Right now I am again thinking of the Jesus of history and the Christ of faith. Since this is the beginning of the Christmas season, I am thinking a lot about the Holy Family. The two major interests in my life (apart from baseball and football) have been family dynamics and religion. I think of the stages of family development. The first task of any couple is to establish their relationship apart from their family of origin. This can be very difficult. There can be conflict over finances, careers and premarital friendships. There can be much conflict over which of the couple’s family of origin is more important. The next stage involves the birth of a child if a family desires to have children. Both can be very excited, but almost every male will feel some jealousy as his wife turns most of her attention to the baby. There then has to be some agreement over who has the most responsibility for the child. Who gets up if the baby is crying or sick? Who stays home, etc? Families can work thru this and then it can start all over again with the birth of another child. The family then presents their children to the outside world when it is time to start school. This goes on until it is time for the children to leave and the couple has to renegotiate their own relationship. This is a very broad outline and can have many variables (divorce, illness, death, etc.).
I can read the early chapters of Matthew and Luke and see a young family experiencing a lot of stress. However there is really not much there. Jesus suddenly appears in his early 30s and is dead a few years later. What about before that? I have seen families raise children and have personally experienced raising two wonderful sons. However every family struggles. How did Joseph and Mary support themselves? Joseph is described as a “tekton” which commonly means craftsman or artisan. He is thought to have been a carpenter and Jesus is described as a carpenter. What kind of work did they do? There were no power tools so the work was probably physically very demanding. Joseph would come home and be very tired. The family had to eat. Was Mary a good cook? Usually in Jewish villages there was a communal oven. The women would stand around and talk while their food was cooking. What would they talk about? Did the family have friends? Would they celebrate the holidays with other members of their village? After Jesus left on his mission, how would Mary support herself? Joseph, who was supposedly much older, is presumed to have died before Jesus left. Was Mary so revered in her village that the village took care of her? The more I read about the scriptures origins, the more confused I get.
I wonder how much of this is true. The scriptures have a common theme, but some of the details are different. How many were put in just to enhance the faith of the early Christians?
I will probably keep struggling with this until my own end. Even after that I can picture myself in a session with Joseph just trying to get some answers. The advice just to pray and accept isn’t working right now. It probably never did for me.