Our new grand daughter is two weeks old today. She is beautiful but I may be slightly biased. I know children have been born for millenniums and grandparents always say thing like this, but it really is true. We were very worried about our daughter-in-law, but she was terrific thru the whole experience. My youngest son is now a father. I’m sure he will be a wonderful one. The love he has for this infant is evident in every picture.
The whole idea of your children having children is still pretty strange. Every couple has memories of their children’s birth. I remember when both of my sons were born. The oldest was born thru emergency C-section, so the youngest was scheduled because the doctor didn’t want to risk a vaginal birth with my wife’s second pregnancy. Due to my wife’s planning, he was born four years and one day after our first. We had our oldest sons fourth birthday party and then went into the hospital. At that time there was a very strange man, probably a sexual predator, who would watch for new admissions and then try and call to get information about birth control and conception. This guy called about 15 minutes after my wife was admitted. I still remember the look on her face as this guy was asking questions. He had presented himself as a hospital researcher. She hung up quickly and didn’t cooperate with any information.
Another part of the delivery was the LeBoyer method. Because our first son was an emergency I was not allowed in the delivery room. I still wouldn’t be allowed in for our second son. Due to that this French OB had developed this wonderful procedure to involve the father in the birth. Immediately after the birth the father would be given the child to bathe. Our OB was very much on board with this. The videos we saw were really beautiful. The doctor and nurse brought the child over and handed him to the father who bathed him in this marble tub. It was supposed to be a real bonding process.
Unfortunately the hospital wasn’t quite into it. I still couldn’t be in the delivery room because my wife was under anesthesia and fathers weren’t allowed in because of that. So our son was born. A nurse came out and handed him to me and gave me a garbage can filled with water. The baby immediately began to scream and I swear for years after he hated bathing.
This was our story. Now both of my son’s have theirs. This becomes part of the family legend. These stories are important to every family. This helps define the family and provides history to share. I remember having patients from very disturbed families who still held onto a few positive memories. It was important to them to have something good to remember.
I am rapidly approaching another birthday. Sometimes I look in the mirror and can’t believe how old I’ve become. An old friend of mine once said that the last task of every man is to be a grandfather. I still don’t know what that means. I can tell stories. I can hold my grandchildren and be there for them no matter what. I can tell them stories of my parents and grandparents so they will know where they came from. I can sympathize with my own children as they go thru the whole parenting experience. A psychologist I worked with for over 20 years once told me “whether you like it or not, someday you will hear your mother, or father’s words coming out of your mouth.” Hopefully the words will be good ones.
It is unlikely that I’ll be around when our grandchildren have their own children. Now our beautiful grand daughter has her own story. I hope we can be a part of it as she grows up and that she will always know how much she was loved.