This week I turn 71. Where is my walker and hearing aid? I can’t believe they are still letting me walk around. I should be strapped into a wheel chair and dripping urine. One of my wife’s relatives had Alzheimers and had an electronic bracelet to help find her if she got out. My family often jokes about putting a chip in me because I get lost so easy. Last week I downloaded Medscape’s Checklist for Dementia. I didn’t notice any significant changes, but I’m afraid to give it to my family. I still remember my youngest son’s threat to put me in a nursing home and not tell anyone where I am.
Gees !!
What the hell is going on that I am turning 71? When I was in my 20s and 30s, 70 seemed very ancient. Now I am past that. I still see people who are very active. Our two current presidential candidates are in this range. Trump is 70 and Hilary is 68. Bernie Sanders is almost 75. So why does this seem like such a strange birthday?
I keep focusing on a line that one of them said: “We have more yesterdays than tomorrows”.
I still need to focus on today. I think the more I think about getting old, the older I will get. Birthdays used to be a time for celebration. I often couldn’t sleep the night before my birthday because I was so excited about the presents I would get. When I was in second and third grade, a girl down the block would throw a surprise birthday party for me. Then we moved away from there and I never saw her again.
If you think about it , what are the important birthdays in your life? 13? Now you’re a teen-ager. 16? Now you can drive. 21 ? Now you legally drink. 30 ? Now you can’t be trusted, or at least you can begin to think of yourself as grown-up.
When I turned 40 my wife threw a surprise birthday party for me. Somehow she got hold of a wheel chair and I had to sit in it while I opened all the joke presents. One of her friends hired a belly dancer. I still remember this girl dancing in front of me while I was in the wheel chair. I think she thought I was disabled. At the end of her dance I stood up and she almost fell over and said, “My God, you can walk!!” I still wonder if she thought her dance cured me.
50 ? Your kids are getting older and really don’t need you as much. 60 ? My God how did this happen? 70? Now I am three score and 10.
71 ? —————————————–?
I keep thinking of all the wonders that have happened in my life. The atomic age, moon landings, a few wars, cures for Polio and other diseases, important elections, etc,etc. My parent’s generation was the greatest generation. My generation, the boomers, has been one of the most important in history because of our sheer numbers and because of the decisions we have made. 10,000 of us will turn 65 each day until the 2030s.
Now I have noticed that things that used to interest me don’t excite me as much any more. I keep looking for new things. Maybe this is the beginning of a second childhood. Recently I took a drivers education course. Our insurance agent said that it would give us a definite break on the cost of our policies. It was fairly interesting and I’m glad I did it. However about a week after the course I was driving and realized that I hadn’t turned off my turn signal for about two miles after I had turned it on to switch lanes. I rationalized that I didn’t hear it because I had the music on too loud. I’m sure the people behind me understood.
Maybe I’ll get a tattoo? Now that really might be an idea. How about “71 and still lost “? How about a heart with “71 and still pissing her off”? “71 and not Fu#+*#% Done !!” Yeah I like that. Now where would I get it ? On my arm ? Maybe—this is really something to think about. If anyone has any more suggestions let me know.
Of course this could be all the evidence my family would need to put me away.
Better look at the Dementia check list again.
